I mean besides the bright pink eye-shadow and multi-coloured nails?
THAT PINK DRINK!
Last night, 84 days in, I completely fell off the SCD wagon – and yes, today I am filled with remorse and I’m hating myself pretty badly.
The day started out well enough. K, my sister and I went on a little shopping trip and ended up stopping for refreshments at the new branch of Osumo up the road from us – it’s a health food cafe that sells amazing natural fresh food. Perfect.
My sister and I each had their 100% apple juice, which is so pure they may as well be standing at your table and squeezing it from the apple as you drink it. I’ve never had pure fruit juice like that at a restaurant before, and I was so impressed. K had a ‘Chocolate Frosty’, which is made from banana, frozen yogurt and a few other things. She was so chuffed that it was delicious despite being healthy!
The rest of the day went fine too, and I pre-ate before we went out last night. We’d planned a super gay night out on the town – yay!
We started at our friends’ place with bubbly (it wasn’t a sweet one, though it was carbonated – a big no-no for me) and shots of jagermeister. I have never looked into this, but I’m pretty sure jagermeister is NOT SCD legal.
Then we got to the restaurant – and incredibly vibey place with an amazing drinks menu. I already had my buzz on, and I was failing to hear to frantic warning sirens in my head. I ordered a cosmo. My reasoning? It’s vodka and cranberry juice, and cranberry is good for you!
Of course, in the sober light of day, I am fully and painfully aware than the ‘cranberry juice’ they put into a cosmo is very, very, VERY far removed from anything natural I should be consuming. Actually, I realised this when the first sugary blast hit my tongue. But by this point, I was too tipsy to worry. And then, because I’d ‘already’ slipped up, I went on to order a strawberry daiquiri (the pic above), which I think is SO illegal on SCD it could actually get me arrested.
By the time I finished my super-potent drinks, I had not a care in the world. I didn’t order food, but when K’s arrived, it looked amazing.
AH! I thought, regressing back to my pre-SCD brain, onion rings! Somehow, my drink-addled brain decided that because I’d already safely introduced onion, it would be fine to eat the BATTERED DEEP-FRIED onion rings off K’s plate. I took one bite and realised OMG GLUTEN!!!!!! and then quickly finished the lot while K shook her head sadly and repeated ,’84 days, 84 days’ and ‘I don’t know how to stop you.’ Thank goodness I managed to rein myself in before these shortbreads arrived at the table:
The rest of the night was okay. I drank water and/or vodka with soda water, but the guilt hung over me like a cloud. It still does today, and I’m hoping that writing about it here will at least benefit someone.
I’m sad that I knowingly cheated (and so badly!) so far into this. BUT I also realise that as human beings following a pretty difficult diet, slip-ups probably are inevitable. I’m no better or worse than anyone else, and I didn’t die (despite feeling like death today).
It also made me realise that my
food inhibitions willpower completely evaporates the moment I start drinking shots – something that I thought I’d conquered, but clearly have not. So whether or not they’re legal (like tequila), it’s not a good idea for me to have shooters EVER. I’m also strictly back on the diet so this is not a free pass to remain fallen-off-the-wagon.
Sigh. I really despise myself right now but I realise it’s not productive. Instead, I’m going to publish this post and let it take the self-hatred with it. Then, I’m going to have a big glass of water, a couple of eggs, and re-read this excellent article from SCDLifestyle.com that seems so applicable right now, about the glass wall mistake that people make when they think they’re getting better.
How’s your diet going?