Day 24: Things get fishy

Tonight I baked some fish for dinner – the first time I’ve eaten fish on this diet. I quite enjoy fish when I eat it at a restaurant, but I really need to smother it in spices when I make it at home.

Tonight, it was hake with just salt and pepper, and I actually really enjoyed it. Plus the mashed avo really just finished it off perfectly. I realise that as much as meat is legal on SCD, it’s not good to overdo the red meat. I won’t have a juicy steak more than once a week, and the rest of the time it’s chicken, mini steaks or ostrich.

Eat-Fish-at-Least-Once-a-WeekI had avo at lunch and dinner today, and I don’t seem to be feeling any ill-effects which is awesome. BMs are still really erratic, and mostly I’m just looking forward to some predictability and a little less of a struggle.

I’m also making a concerted effort to eat fewer bananas, so today I’ve only had 6 small ones (which is progress for me!). I even chopped some up and froze them to remove the immediate temptation.

I’ve also decided that I’ll phase in mushrooms next (though I hear they can be hard on the gut), followed by garlic and tomato. Then maybe cilantro. This is such an exciting phase!

How my exercise is going

I’m still doing Jillian Michael’sĀ Body Revolution and I love it. More to the point, I love Jillian! Completely coincidentally (or maybe not, since Jillian barks out of my TV every evening), K decided she wanted to start watching The Biggest Loser. It comes on TV here but we’ve never watched it, so we downloaded a few seasons.

Well, I’m now more in love with Jillian than ever, and it really buoys me up for my workouts every day. While I’m in good health, I’m really going to make the most of these high-intensity workouts. If I hit another flare (though I’m thinking positively and not anticipating one), I’ll tone it down.

The incredible hotness that is Jillian Michaels. How can you *not* want to work out with this woman?!

The incredible hotness that is Jillian Michaels. How can you *not* want to work out with this woman?!

Besides my BMs, I’m feeling good, experiencing very little bloating, and I’m feeling clear-headed. My energy levels also seem to be improving and I’m finding the workouts slightly easier, so I’m really feeling positive. I found this quote today and I love it. I think it’s really worth remembering, every day.





9 thoughts on “Day 24: Things get fishy

  1. Working out with Jillian is no joke! It’s awesome that you’ve been able to keep that up (or that you even do it in the first place! Working out consistently is something I struggle with…) Also, I know you’ve mentioned how supportive your partner is in a few posts, and I think that is so great. I’m sure she helps keep you going!!



    So after all my positivity about starting back on, I am having a really hard time tonight. I’ve been feeling nauseated all day, and I have squash and meat (and pineapple, yay!) ready for dinner, but it doesn’t sound appetizing in the slightest and even thinking about it makes me ill.

    Do you know what I want to do? I want to bake up a batch of chocolate-chip cookies and eat the dough out of the bowl while I watch Lost Girl on the couch. THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO. (I used to bake, no joke, every single day. So that is my go-to comforting ritual. And also wine. PLEASE, WINE…)

    I wish I could do an 80/20 thing, eat mostly SCD, but I know that’s not how it works. You can’t heal if you don’t eliminate trigger foods. I don’t know why this is so hard for me but I’m in the mental place of wanting to give up again.

    So I thought maybe whining to you might help a little. šŸ™‚

    Agh I’m dying.


  3. Heather!! You poor thing. I got all teary when I read your post. I’m sorry it took me this long to reply. I know that nauseated feeling so well – it’s AWFUL. And I know how it feels to look at that plate of SCD food and think – UGH, VOM!

    OMG that cookie dough sounds amazing… I’m literally salivating thinking about it. Series, cookie dough, WINE, and all of that washed down with a few slabs of chocolate would be heavenly! I could so easily do it… but then I think of how I’d feel afterwards – oh that ugly remorse! That guilt! Why can’t we go completely crazy and not feel remorseful afterwards? But thank goodness we can’t! Otherwise we’d be on the biggest loser at 400lbs, being told that if we don’t lose the weight, we’ll die. So, you know, small mercies šŸ˜‰

    SCD is a very, very tough diet. I’m not entirely sure how I’ve committed to it for this long. But I’m doing it to try to heal myself, because I don’t want to end up one of those people who has to have colon surgery and walk around with a bag of my own shit tied to my waist for the rest of my life (sorry to be so crude). So you know, there’s that motivation.

    If you’re not doing SCD because of a digestive disease, maybe you need to take a step back. Do you know the ‘sprained ankle’ idea behind the specific stages of SCD? So the idea is that if you have digestive disease, it’s like running on a sprained ankle. You could slow down to a walk, but if you’re still using that ankle, you’re not healing it. You need to stop, ice it, and then slowly start to walk on it again.

    The SCD theory is the same: If your gut is severely damaged, it doesn’t help (enough) to just switch your current crappy diet to an SCD one. You actually have to go through each phase to heal (“ice”) your gut, and then slowly introduce each food (“slowly walking” again).

    However, my feeling (really just common sense) is that if your gut isn’t damaged, you don’t need to do those initial stages to stop the inflammation, because your “ankle” isn’t “sprained” in the first place – it just needs you to slow down to a walk šŸ™‚ So if you don’t have digestive disease, but want to give your body a break, treat it with care and make it healthier, then perhaps it’s okay to adopt an SCD lifestyle *without* going through the stages so strictly. Do you know what I mean? I think what I’ve just written is probably extremely confusing so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make any sense.

    Basically, you need to give yourself a break. I don’t have kids. I don’t even have a goldfish. I have some chilli plants. That’s it. And despite this lack of responsibilities and commitments, I still find it SO HARD to do SCD – to find the time to cook, the *inspiration* to not eat (yet another) bunch of bananas for dinner, and the willpower to just continue. You have 2 kids, a husband, a cat – a whole house to run (and who knows, maybe even some plants too!). In that kind of situation, esp when you are the only one doing SCD, it’s insanely hard (but not impossible).

    So it’s totally fine to feel the way you do. And it’s fine to not do this diet perfectly. Try to relax it a bit, and really think about why you’re doing it – because maybe there’s another diet out there that would work better, and satisfy you more, like paleo or GAPS (if you can’t do dairy).

    I feel so humbled that you spoke to me about this, but I don’t feel like I’m in any position to give advice! I’m really just plodding along every day, trying my best, but definitely not getting it right all the time. The last thing I will say, though, is that you need to set a good eating example to your boys. Mommy’s binges are probably not the lasting memory of their childhood that you want to give them šŸ™‚

    I believe that you can bake every day and enjoy your treats every day, just by changing *what* you bake. Sigh – raw vegan pumpkin cake will *never* be chocolate cupcakes with buttercream icing. And that HURTS! I miss cake the most. Really I do. But there are so many other things you could make. Plus, I really do believe that the longer you’re able to resist these things, the easier it’s going to get. I honestly woke up this morning and for once, in 25 days, didn’t think that THEBESTTHINGEVERINTHEWORLD would be a 300g slab of chocolate. But it’s taken this long.

    I’m so sorry that you’re going through all this, but please, please, be kind and good to yourself. Most importantly, be healthy. Kick SCD to the curb if it’s not working for you. That’s what the SCDLifestyle guys say all the time. If it’s not working, forget it and find something else. You’re not married to it; it was your choice and you can easily choose something else that suits you better – WITHOUT guilt.

    And now, after reading all this, you can add an extra ‘book’ to the number you’ve read so far this year! Thinking of you and sending loads of support and encouragement. Here, perhaps try these SCD-legal treats if you feel like easing up a bit: An SCD banana bread (I’ve made this and it was lovely) and these Larabars (which I’m DYING to make when I’ve incorporated all these foods in, oh, 3 to 4 years :P) xx

    PS: You could also make pancakes with egg and banana – I haven’t tried them and I don’t know if you can handle your bananas like that, but worth a try maybe?



    That could change everything…

    But the SCD Lifestyle guys really advocate the stages, they say a lot of people jump right into SCD without doing the stages and don’t get relief from their symptoms. And it makes sense that adding foods one at a time would help you assess which foods are problematic. So the stages make sense to me. That said…maybe when I’m starting to go crazy and need something else, I can make an SCD legal treat, even if it’s out of my stage. That way, I don’t get completely derailed. (Last night, I didn’t end up doing the cookies–VICTORY–but I had some goat cheese, even though I hadn’t added it in yet but planned to in a couple weeks. I guess that’s technically cheating but think it was a good compromise, considering my mental state….)

    Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed response. I saved the recipes you linked, I’m trying to stockpile SCD recipes so I can remind myself of what I have to look forward to. I was so touched by your words. I really do believe SCD is helping me, I have just struggled so much with sticking to it. I think it’s rooted in my history with binge eating. Before I actually started SCD, when I was still researching it, the mere thought of starting a restrictive diet kind of caused me to freak out and I had the first real binge episode I’ve had in a while. And then obviously I’ve had a couple while on the diet. It’s hard because I don’t have an IBD, I just have IBS. So it’s not super-serious, and I can live with it. It’s not the worst thing in the world. So when things get hard I’m like, “Eh, it’s just IBS. Maybe I should just suck it up and eat whatever I want and live with it.” But the big picture view is that if I can just make it through the restrictive part, I’ll soon be able to eat a lot of different things and I’ll feel good, too.

    I actually ended up having an anxiety attack last night. I think that was the reason I was so hell-bent on that cookie dough–I must have been using food to muffle anxiety in the past without realizing it? So when I couldn’t do that, I ended up sobbing and hyperventilating and just melting down into a miserable little puddle of anxiety.

    Maybe that’s an overshare…


    Thank you again, SO MUCH, for being there for me. Solidarity in SCD!!

    I’ll keep trying.


  5. Well done on not attacking the cookies! Goat cheese is definitely a better alternative šŸ™‚ In fact dairy is pretty damn healthy, and you only have to wait 30 days before introducing it on SCD.

    I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I think that perhaps your anxiety is a more pressing matter than your IBS. And no, I don’t think that IBS is ‘just IBS’ – that horrible bloating is one of the main reasons I’m doing this diet. After all, my medication keeps my other terrible symptoms under control.

    So I think for you, in my totally humble, non-doctory, non-psycho-babbly opinion – you need to find a way to do SCD without it causing you this much anxiety. And if that means dropping the stages, at least for a bit, or cheating with SCD-legal foods, I think that’s okay. I believe that mental state has SUCH a huge influence on my gut. My very first flare actually happened years ago when I was in a very stressful, emotionally abusive relationship. I never correlated the two until years later, when a nutritionalist helped me to see the connection.

    Stressing yourself out to the point of anxiety attacks and total meltdowns is probably going to do more harm than the SCD will do good. Maybe for now, it’s more important to get those under control. Bingeing and restricting so severely are opposite ends of the same pole I guess. There have to be correlations one can draw.

    Don’t worry about any overshares; I don’t see it that way. If it helps, in any tiny way, to vent, please please do. I’m always happy to listen and to give my two cents, for whatever they’re worth šŸ™‚ x


    • As always, thank you so much. I actually just got back from seeing my therapist today, and we discussed a lot of this in great detail. I’ve been so torn because I want to do the diet (and I know it’s helping!), but it also triggers anxiety and bingeing in me. Aaaaand, (we haven’t announced it to friends and family yet), I found out last week that I’m pregnant. (That was the unexpected shock I alluded to when I stress-ate a bunch of cookies and Doritos. Haha) I’m really excited now, although it took me a few days to adjust to the surprise. However, over the past few days food of all types has started to just be nauseating to me. I talked to my therapist and decided maybe I can find a middle ground. So I’m going to try to do SCD as much as I can right now, and if I need or want to eat something illegal, I’m just going to do it and not stress about it, and then go back to SCD. I know that’s not how I’m “supposed” to do it, but I think for now, it’s all I can handle. (I feel like a baby saying that.) Hopefully when the nausea subsides and I’m feeling better, I can go back to strict SCD. But I don’t want to get stuck in a binge-restrict cycle, so I guess I’ll just take things slowly.

      No matter what, I’m going to keep following you on here and cheering you on! And I will be doing my best, too.


      • Wow Heather, congratulations! That is SUCH wonderful and exciting news! I feel so touched that you shared it with me, and I’m so so happy for you. I promise I won’t tell your friends or family šŸ˜‰

        Of course, I went and did a little research (I’m sure you have too), and it turns out that it’s safe to be on SCD while pregnant (not that I suspected otherwise). Here are two useful links I found: (it’s the SCD guys talking about this blogger, who speaks a lot about pregnancy and SCD on her blog)
        and this FAQ page:

        I think your new approach is sensible and you already sound calmer. And you’re right – not stressing is key. And *now* you understand the nausea too!

        I’ll keep up with your blog too – I can’t wait to hear more about the pregnancy and of course, the baby too, when s/he makes a grand debut. Eeeeeeeee!


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